Jun 27, 2007

Kitchen Karishma - I

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

This is a well known fact that India is one of the Greatest kitchens of the world, preparations like Samosa, Tandoori chicken & Roti, Palak (Spinach) Paneer (Cottage cheese), Allu (Potato) Tikka are already famous. one can do many things with potatos and other Vegetables, India is one place where the largest Vegetarian palates exists.
The cooking, taste and intensity of spices vary from region to region, the cooking oil also differs from Groundnut oil in general to Mustard seed oil in North & East to Coconut oil in Kerala, now it is safflower or sunflower oil and many more mixed vegetable ghee or oil etc. clarified butter is also used a lot for mainly Tadaka or Talimpu, which adds such a beautiful aroma and improves the taste of any dish to great heights.
As I lived in most parts of India, I have a taste for almost every dish, north or south, east or west, but now I am a strict vegetarian and flowing towards Yog Sadhana, so my menu is very restricted. over the years I have tried to narrow down the ingredients to minimum and yet get the same taste and your tongue would not complain of you being unfair or too bland.
Tongue saying: this is not fair!, the story I heard in my prime years about the body organs going on strike, who is important, stomach or teeth etc, :-)
I started cooking when I was 11 years old, I learned my first cooking lessons from my mother who was down with Arthritis and could barely walk or move, so she would sleep in the living room which was closer to the kitchen, I would try to cook, during those days we did not have the gas stove or electric stove, only mode of cooking was those high pressured kerosene stoves, the kerosene is pumped with a piston creating tremendous pressure, the flame would still be like a gas stove flame, but the small hole through which the pressurised kerosene jets out needs to be cleaned with a pin for uniform flame very frequently, this was in 1977 in Agra Cantt., India. Though my Father was a great cook too, the main hobby he enjoyed, he would sit on a chair and direct assistant cooks mostly his colleagues to cook for about 600 people in any gathering, on many occasions I helped him and also learned few techniques, his colleagues were many times astonished at my cooking and preparation skills, I was in my teens.:-)

Here I will tell you how to cook a Vegetable or even any Animal body ;-) with following method which would make it look Indian and spicy:
Cut your Vegetables (Any) to small 1 inch squares ( with the new vegetable cutter) please do not measure them with scale or weigh them for uniformity, :-)), Take a pan and put some oil, here we have options: Oil can be Vegetable oil/ Clarified butter/ Vegetable fat etc.
Heat it and add few seeds of Mustard (mustard seeds should not pop in oil) and Jeera (Cumin) too much will make your dish bitter, add Chilli powder, Turmeric powder and Salt (Iodized) and let them blend together, reduce the heat to keep the color, too much heat will change the color to black :-)).
Now add your washed vegetable pieces and turn them with a ladle till all pieces are colored, close the pan with a lid for few minutes, the vegetable gets cooked in the steam, turn them continuously, the vegetable is cooked if a spoon can cut through it, reduce the heat and let is saute, when you see oil droplets in your dish, the dish is ready to serve.
Normally Indian dishes are served with Rice or Roti, but you can take it as your main dish also but keep in mind the spice and your tongue :-).
Quantities of spice:
Salt depends on your Blood pressure so act accordingly, if you have high blood pressure, reduce salt to the minimum and in case of Low Blood pressure, add optimum, too much is difficult to swallow. :-)))).
Chilli Powder: It kills all unwanted bacteria, in your GI system, Entry level palates might suffer from severe burning in wrong places, so start with minimum and increase it slowly and use old chilli powder only, new chili powder could be too much for beginners, over a period of time your much required bacteria will also get used to it, it is a question of time and patience, In Andhra Pradesh a province of India- famous for Spicy Chutneys, we consume raw chili powder with little clarified butter or Vegetable fat depending on your purse and people who pay too much taxes- with out any butter and well done rice. beginners better keep some sweet meats or lots of water near by.
Turmeric powder: Turmeric is a beautiful product of Nature, it is a gift to Humanity by the Nature, Vicco has been passing this message since many decades for its skin care products. Turmeric is Antiseptic (Apply it on any bruise see the result overnight), but it does change the color of any dish to yellow, you can always cover it up with few pieces of beetroot or Tomato puree, it will help subdue the intensity of spice, your tongue will be happy.:-))
Too much Turmeric will taste like dish of Turmeric, 1 table spoon for 1 Kg of Vegetable is optimum, and same thing for chili powder.

So with this preparation not only we have taken care of Hunger, we are giving the body its much needed calories, we are keeping our Blood pressure, digestion, bacterial infections in check, and skin is more prepared to take all the UV rays from sun- no cancer of skin because of UV rays of sun.
People with fare skins and who would like to have this permanent copper tone with out wasting money on machines or sleeping in sun for long periods and exposing themselves to harmful UV rays should instead add little Masala (Spice) to their Menu, and see the color of their skin glowing with copper tone. more spice you eat darker the skin will get, 'Yes' time is crucial entity here, it would not happen overnight.
Best combination:

Buttered Nan/Pita/Chapatis/Roti/Pulkas (dry paper thin small pitas)/Puri (Oil Fried Rotis) and Rice/ Fried rice/Lemon rice/Tamarind rice are the best combination to go with this Vegetable dish.
Additional ingredients if you desire:
New to Spice world: add Tomato puree/Lemon juice/Mango puree/Tamarind juice etc to subdue the intensity of spice and yet preserving the benefits of the dish.
or add plain milk( two cups for 1 kg of Vegetable) or plain Yogurt ( One cup for 1 Kg Vegetable, keep an eye on this dish in summer it gets sour)
Type of Vegetable: Any vegetable available in the Market, yes for Bitter gourds ( good for Diabetes) add some extra lemon or have some courage and consume the bitter pill with all its seeds.
Above given is the shortest and fastest way to cook a vegetable with south Indian touch.
Charaka circa 1000 BC : The great Indian doctor used to talk to herbs asking their healing properties. :-) how?
Lord Krishna was a great cook ......
Tadka (Hindi) or Talimpu ( Telugu): Place small amount of oil/clarified butter/butter/vegetable ghee in a separate Pan and heat, add few mustard, jeera seeds, few curry leaves, little garlic, saute and add the heated mixture to the boiled vegetable soup/curry or Lentil soup, few changes are always possible.
Tea spoon: Small Tea spoon
More to follow........................

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

Sianala, Montreal, July 2007

Jun 26, 2007

The Real Sadhu- Ego and God

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

Instead of rewriting everything which already had been written and said many many times by many great saints, here is a discourse from Shri Swami Sivananda ji on the real sadhu (Saint) Ego and God.

"If you find mercy and humility in a person, then alone can you know that he is a Sadhu.His heart will melt at the suffering of others. Man has a sin-hardened heart. When it begins to melt, the Lord manifests Himself. A Sadhu need not deliver lectures on the Panchadasi.

He need not necessarily be able to deliver eloquent discourses on the Gita (Discourse by Lord Shri Krishna given to Arjun in the battle ground of Krukshetra-Sacred scripture of Hindus or Sanatana Dharma).

He may not be able to comment for three hours on a single verse of the Brahma Sutra, but a sweet aroma will always be emanating from him. This will attract you to him. It will give you peace and inner bliss when you approach him. All your worry and anxiety will disappear as you approach him. His very look will elevate you. His words will inspire you and engrave themselves on the tablet of your heart. Your nature will be transformed by his very look. You will turn a new page in your life. Such will be his power! Such is the glory of true mercy and humility!"
People have a hard heart, a heart harder than granite, harder than diamond, on account of wrong actions done life after life. This heart should melt. Only then can they have Self-realization. Note well that there is no short-cut to Self-realization. A man without mercy, love and humility cannot realize the Self. You must understand this clearly. You must engrave these words in your heart. You must write them in bold letters on placards and place them in your rooms and offices. The Lord cannot manifest Himself in a sin-hardened heart. It must melt like butter before He can reveal Himself."This melting is done by Kirtan and untiring selfless service rendered with the feeling that all are forms of Lord Narayana. Then you will develop a feeling of oneness with all. Listening to the scriptures and contemplation will be of no avail if there is no purification of the heart.

Vedantic Sadhana at this immature stage will only fatten your egoism and harden it. The bonds of worldliness will grow tighter and the veil of ignorance become thicker."Without purifying the heart no progress in Sadhana is possible. Therefore, practise Japa, sing Kirtan, do untiring selfless service. Be generous. Give, give, give. Kill vanity. Worldly people have their own vanity, but much harder is the egoism of a Sadhu. He thinks that he is superior to a householder because he knows the Gita by heart and he can deliver thrilling lectures for weeks on end on each verse of the Upanishads. This spiritual pride is extremely difficult to eradicate."Maya assumes many different forms.

The ego assumes various shapes. Just as water takes on the form of the vessel into which it is poured, so also the ego adjusts itself to all circumstances and persists in its work.

"You renounce the world so that you can get rid of the vanity of wealth and material desires. Now you acquire another vanity--the vanity of renunciation. In order to crush the ego you do scavenging, though you are highly educated. Now the ego assumes the subtle form of the vanity of service. You bow to all, you prostrate to all, in order to develop humility. This indefatigable ego comes up there also--you now have the most dangerous vanity of humility. You feel inwardly that you are humbler than others. This ego is your terrible enemy. It wages guerrilla warfare with you. Beware! Beware! Beware!".

If you are sincere you can eradicate this ego through Japa, Kirtan and selfless service. Sincere people are very rare in this world. You can count them on your finger-tips. Sincerity--it is a very rare virtue! It is a combination of several virtues--of truthfulness, straight-forwardness, simplicity, absence of vanity, courage, fearlessness, tenacity of purpose, love and humility. All these go to form sincerity. A sincere man is immediately respected and trusted by all. Only if you have this virtue will there be rapid spiritual progress. Only then will you realize the fullest benefits of the Japa, Kirtan and meditation that you practise daily.

"Introspect and find out how you are progressing in the cultivation of these divine virtues. You are not practising introspection regularly. You have not the strength of mind or the power of discrimination to introspect. You think that you are very much advanced, but when a test comes you fail miserably. It is because there has been no real progress, no real spiritual advancement. It is vanity that makes you think that you are very advanced."

Apply this acid test on yourself: does your heart melt at the suffering of others? Has charity and generosity become your very nature? Your money belongs to the Lord. You have no business to keep more than you need. How can you accumulate wealth when your God in the form of a poor man is starving? How can you take food four times a day when the beggar--Lord Narayana--is starving outside the door? These are the tests of spiritual progress.

"Do you run to a poor man walking along the street and offer him food? Do you rush to the aid of a sick or injured man lying on the roadside and ask, 'My Lord, in what way may I serve thee?' If you do so, then you are really advancing on the spiritual path. You will soon develop cosmic love, which is the threshold of liberation."

If you really want God, then all these things must be done. You should have mercy. You should feel that you are only a trustee of your money; you are like a gatekeeper. God has given you money. You should share it with others. Purchase blankets in winter and distribute them to the poor lying on the roadside. What a joy you feel! The man who has not shared what he has with others has a poor heart indeed, though he may be a millionaire. Even the man who has nothing to eat is the richest man in the world if he has a large heart, if he shares what he has with others.

"The real Sadhu is one who has nothing to call his own except a large, magnanimous heart--not one who can skillfully argue about the existence of God or the falsehood of creation, who is an expert in intellectual acrobatics, who is proficient in the coining and use of a few phrases. You can discover him on the station platform. He will quarrel for half an hour with a porter for the sake of two annas!"
(Annas = 16 annas make One Indian Rupee)
If you are Ramprasad, feel that all are Ramprasad. One Divine Consciousness pervades all. It sees through all, It works through all. All ears are yours. Feel as such. What an expansion of heart you experience! All barriers are now broken down. Everywhere you behold the one Lord, one Krishna, the God who is both immanent and transcendent.

"The aspirant should be very careful. Not even an angry look or the slightest trace of irritability should arise in his heart. He should possess a sweet heart and a sweet tongue."

"May God bless you all with health, long life, peace, prosperity and eternal bliss!"

"If you take one step towards God, He takes ten steps towards you." - Swami Sivananda

I can only add to this great teachings is, to reach GOD one has to be like GOD, all the time and always and yet remain anonymous.

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

Sianala, Montreal, June 2007

Jun 20, 2007

God did come!

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

There was a very big Dam and was holding lot of water in a man made lake, after many peaceful years, one day a villager detects a crack on the Dam, for a moment his heart stops, he runs to the village head to inform about this crack.

The village along with all his men inspect the crack on the Dam and decide to call the govt. to get this rectified, the engineers arrive and to their utter disappointment it is found that the crack can not be repaired, so they raise a danger alarm and they request the Govt to evacuate all the villages with in the close proximity of the Dam, every villager leaves very early and then it is time for the Dam to rupture, water starts flowing in a huge stream.

Meanwhile the rescue team detect that a man is still living in his home.

The rescue team ask the man to get out, but the Man is adamant, no my GOD will save me, he will not let me down.

The rescue team leaves the scene keeping the condition of Dam in mind, the water now is flowing in the villages like a river and the man's house is effected.

Now the Rescue team in their last visit call out for the man, who is in his second floor.

The man: No my GOD will save me.

The rescue team leaves again, the water is higher now and the second floor is under water,

The Rescue team in a ferry reach this man's house and call him to get in the ferry.

The Man: No my God......................!

The Rescue team leaves and is replaced by the Army.

The water has submerged almost all the villages and the Man is on the roof top.

The Army in a Helicopter; Hey common we will take you up, catch this harness.

The Man: No my God will come..................

The Army leaves and the Dam breaks submerging everything.

The man is standing in a reception , appears like the abode of GOD.

GOD: There you are, How are you?

Man: I will not speak to you, you let me drown, I called you so many times and you did not come.

GOD: I did come, the people in Rescue team, The Ferry, The Helicopter, all were my men, but you did not come.

Moral: God is Omnipresent and everywhere.

I heard this story in Net GSC Chandanagar, Hyderabad, India, narrated by a indian software professional settled in US in the year 1999-2000.

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

SIanala, Montreal, July 2007

Jun 15, 2007

Fundamentals of Jyotisha ( Part IV)

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

GRAHA/PLANETS characteristics and description continued......Apart from what we have discussed earlier about the Strength of Graha, there is a very beautiful system in Jyotisha called Shad bal or Shad bala (Six Strengths), it estimates and predicts the strength of Graha during its Transit and it also tells us the strength of Graha as a quantity, in addition to Shad bala there are few other related terms like Astakavarga bala, Ishta phala and kshta phala etc.

Shadbala is a method to evaluate the strength of Graha/Planets by calculating the points a Graha/Planet would get based on its position, direction, motion, time, and aspect, Naisargika (Natural strength) bala is common for all the tables so it is not very important, there are many variations for calculation of Shadbala, Table No 39 and 40 list these values in Virupas to call a Graha Strong, the values can be represented in Rupas and percentage.

Shadbala comprises of various types of strengths which are listed with all their
further classifications in the Table no 41.

Astakavarga meaning eight divisions it is a system of analyzing a chart with respect to a group of 8 reference points and it tells us the benefic positions of Lagna and seven planets with respect to each other, so using this system we can analyze the Natal and the Transit chart, transit chart is more important for day to day predictions.

The individual Ashtakavarga chart is known as the Bhinnashtakavarga, and the combined effect given in one chart is known as Sarvashtakavarga chart.

The total value of any house for any Graha/planet is = 8,
If Benefic points = x,
8-x = Malefic points.
7 Graha/planets x 8 points = 56

The house that gets less than 28 benefic points will give less result as indicated by that house. Similarly if any house contributes more than 28 points then the results denoted by that house will be greater, 28 is 50% of 56.

The individual points of each house if it is less than 4 the phala will not be favorable, a value of 4 is average phala and points above 4 are very favorable. The total is always 337.

The Rasis/signs which carry 7 or 8 points are the peak periods of the native in that particular sphere of his/her life and the houses with 5 or 6 points are periods with good results, at the same time Rasis/signs with values 0, 1 or 2 would give most unfavorable results, the above chart shows maximum points for two houses Aries and Scorpio and the lord of both these signs is Mars and these are 6th and 11th signs from Lagna, representing, Job, Enemies, disease, gain in everything, friends and elders as the prominent areas of his/her life, 7th and 8th house also carry good points, meaning better results in the areas represented by these two signs also.

Ishta and Kshta phala: Very simple translation of these two terms into English would be "results I like", and "results painful to me", to get these values first calculate the Uchch Rasmi and Chesht rasmi of Graha, then using these two calculate the subha rasmis (Auspicious) and asubha (Inauspicious) rasmis, further use these two and calculate the Ishta and Kshta phala.

Each Varga placement contributes a strength according to the placement in the planet's sign. Table No 43 lists the strength of each Graha as per their placement.

If Subhankas (Auspicious) is deducted from 60, Asubhanka (Inauspicious points) will emerge and in other Vargas these values are halved.

A Graha is considered auspicious in the first four of the said places, In the fifth place it is neutral, i.e. neither good nor bad and in the other two places it is inauspicious.
A typical Table showing Shad bala in virupas, in rupas, in percentage, Ishta and Kshta Phala is listed in the table no 44.

Conclusion: There are many versions of discussions on this particular topic every Astrologer had tried to peel a new skin from this fruit, but the most important thing is, it gives a direct methodology to label a Graha Strong, Very Strong, Weak, or Very Weak, I personally feel there is no need to go into details and dissect them to see if they give you repeatable results like a true physical scientist, these values are like indicators showing where exactly the Graha's are standing and with how many points each.

As the Graha/Planets are always on the move, only Saturn and Jupiter take little more time to than other Grahas, other wise in a day there always is a possibility for worst and the best time point.

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

SIanala, Montreal , June 2007.

Jun 5, 2007

Minor Lines of the Palm

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

I have already dealt with the six Major lines of the palm, The Line of Fate, The line of Head, The line of Heart, The line of Life, The line of Health of Life and The line of Apollo, let us deal with the minor lines of the palm, which are not common lines present in every hand, few hands have very prominent minor lines, and few do not have these lines at all.

Minor lines of the palm: Line of Intuition, Girdle of Venus, Influence lines, Worry lines, Line of Marriage or Affection, Stress lines, Travel line, Rascettes,Via Lascivia, Line of Mars.

Line of Intuition: Fig P8A1 & P8B6, Look for this line on the percussion side of the palm, starting from the base of the palm to the little finger, the presence of this line is a indication that the Intuition of the person is active or awakened, because Intuition (Sixth sense as it is called) is a compulsory item that comes with this human body, other signs which enhance the Intuitive abilities are a whorl in the Ring finger third phalange, a mystic cross below the Saturn Finger and Ring finger, between the Heart line and the Line of intelligence, well formed mount of Luna or Moon.

Girdle of Venus: Fig P8A2, I am sorry I could not understand how someone called it Girdle of Venus, it is a arc between Little finger and Saturn finger, or Ring finger and Saturn finger or may be Index finger, I am not aware of its function or prominence and also it has nothing to do with Venus and love, only possibility is this line could be a secondary heart line, so it is in a way enhanced craving for love or affection, better not to have this.;-)

Influence Lines: Fig P8A3 & P8B5, Fine parallel lines emerging from the mount of Venus or Mount of Luna and flow towards the major lines of the palm, in a way to influence them in the life of the native, these lines are indication of influence of the family members on the native, each line indicates a member and if it cuts different major lines, it means they influence that sphere of the natives life in a positive or negative way, similar lines from teh mount of luna are influence from external circles.

Worry lines: Fig P8A4, Parallel vertical lines in the mount of Venus, more lines indicate more worries and absence of lines indicate lack of emotions.

Line of Marriage or Affection or Union: Fig P8A5, Small line on the percussion side of the palm, just below the little finger, here it is little tricky, because in a country like India where two opposite sex can only unite through marriage, then these lines should be called lines of marriage, and each line would indicate one marriage, and the health of that line directly indicates the health of marriage, but like in west, union of opposite sex is not necessarily through formal marriage, in that case this line should be called as line of affection or union.

The length of the line is normally up to 1 cm, a healthy line is a 1 cm horizontal line ending bluntly without any change in thickness and color of the line, with out any cuts or gaps, very fine hair like vertical lines on top of each marriage line indicate the number of children, thick straight lines indicate male and thin slant lines indicate females, but this area is not very clear in many hands and might not be visible to a naked eye, few hands I have seen have very clear patterns and the no of children living and dead match perfectly with the pattern, because of lack of clarity of this area, the scope of wrong prediction is very huge.

If the line of Marriage droops down towards the base of palm and ends somewhere below, little finger, Ring finger, Middle finger or Index finger or right into the mount of Venus indicate end of that marriage or union due to communications, ego, financial issues, understanding and respect for each other and influence of a family member respectively, if the line turn upward, it is a good sign, and if it bifurcates, it indicates flexibility in the union or more informal union.

The timing of marriage is determined by dividing the distance between the line of heart and the base of little finger in to four divisions, each division is equal to 10 years, the point on the line of heart will be 14 years and the base of the little finger 70 years, then determine the time of marriage or union, multiple healthy lines of marriage or union will indicate multiple partners.
Compatibility between the couple can be determined by looking at the health of the line of marriage.

Stress lines: Fig P8A6 Small vertical lines in the phalanges of the fingers, the upper, middle and lower phalange indicate soul, mind and body resp. the stress lines in these phalanges would indicate stress of the native in that part of his being, most people will have few lines in the lowest phalanges in almost all fingers, but few people have stress lines in the middle phalanges also, they are very stressed individuals, and people in deep perils have stress lines in almost all phalanges, they need a long vacation, any hand without any stress lines is rare.

Travel Lines: Fig P8B1, Small or long lines from the base of the palm on the percussion side of the palm and travelling towards the Mount of Jupiter or Index finger indicate the Travel the native had taken or will take in future, but I am not sure about this line either, I have seen only small lines from the percussion side reaching up to the middle of the palm, and these natives have traveled more than 15000 miles in one go.

So if there are few lines in this area you will travel or you have already traveled.:-)
Rascette: Fig P8B2, others names for Rascette are Bracelet or luck line, One, two or three single, double or triple plain or interwoven chain like lines on the wrist on the base of the palm are Rascette, these are like index of the life of the native, a plain line in this area would indicate uncomplicated life of the native, and a chained line indicate complex or complicated life due to hassles, a cross in this line would indicate a difficult period, each line indicates around 40 years of life, three lines account for 120 years of life, but this is not the only parameter for life calculation.

The first line on the Rascette if forms a deep curve towards the palm in the hands of women, would suggest possible delivery problems, and in the hands of men, possible delivery problems faced by their mothers during their birth and some believe weakness in reproductive system.
Via Lascivia: Fig P8B3, A horizontal line crossing the mount of Luna and might join the Fate line, as the Latin name suggests it was believed to be associated with Lust, drunkenness and debauchery, but actually this line has to do with spending capacity of a native, A person with this line is like a Natural accounts manager, with just 100$ he could feed many people, and a person with out this line might not be able to fill his of tummy with 100$, just an example.
Line of Mars: Fig P8B4, This line starts form the mount of mars between the Index finger and the Thumb and runs inside the line of Life, this adds to the vitality and life force of the Native, it is also called as sister life line.

There are other small and very minor lines not at all common, like sex line, money line, spirit line. do not worry about them they do not affect your life in any way.

More to follow............................marks and signs.

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

SIanala, Montreal, June 2007

Jun 3, 2007

Meeting the God

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!

A person frustrated starts praying in a very secluded places to appease GOD, after 25 long years of penance, GOD appears in the form of Lord Shiva and asks the ascetic why did you remember me, dear!

The person is used to consult his wife for every small or big decisions, so he requests GOD, please wait for a minute I will be back in a moment, I have to ask my wife what exactly she wants.

GOD: Okey Dokey!

Person returns with a long list: Please take this list.

GOD: OK, Please wait for a minute I will be back in a moment, even I have to ask my wife before I promise anything (and GOD vanishes).

A year passes GOD does not return, meanwhile seeing the plight of this person, ever roaming saint Narada appears and asks what happened.

Person tells the whole story.

Narada: Oh! O, dear! When GOD says 1 minute it is equal to 100 years of Earth time. I am sorry, instead of waiting,better start all over again! good luck and he too vanishes.


Two neighbours ( N1& N2) ever competing with each other on every small and big things in their lives decide to call upon the GOD.

So the great penance starts, after 25 long years of penance, GOD appears before the first neighbour N1.

GOD: Hello dear! Let me know why you called me!

N1: Well I want many things but I would like you to do me a favour.

GOD: Ok! What is it.

N1: Are you going to answer my neighbours call also.

GOD: O' Yes, sure.

N1: Will it be possible if you find out what he is asking.

GOD: No problemo.

GOD appears before the other neighbour ( N2)

GOD: Hello dear, let me know why you called me!

N2: Thanks for coming, my lord! before I ask I would like to know what my Neighbour is asking, GOD says OK.

GOD returns to N1, like this GOD moves up and down for a couple of times, finally GOD is tired, I am sorry if you do not ask for anything, I am going, I have others calling.

N1: OK, Give me everything double the quantity of what ever N2 will ask.

GOD: Tathastu! ( Meaning, so be it).

God goes to N2 for the last time.

GOD: OK ask what do you want.

N2 is a persistent fellow, please let me know what did the N1 ask.

GOD: Oh my GOD! Ok, he wants everything two times of what ever you are going to ask.

N2: Ok! then cut my one hand, one leg, one ear and one eye.

GOD: Tathastu! and he leaves with a heavy heart, complaining, Why did I make Humans.


A person in Europe is looking for GOD, he asks a saint, the saint points at a Telephone booth.
The person pick up the phone and calls a number written on the wall" God's PRIVATE NUMBER, please dial 011 before the no and it is a long distance call.
The person disconnects and travels to North America, even there he finds a Telephone booth with same no and same instructions, again it is a long distance call.
The person travels to China, Japan, Australia, Arctic, Antarctica, Middle east every where he finds the same telephone booth with same instructions and it is always a long distance call.
Finally he decides to travel to India and looks around for that telephone booth and he finds it with the same no, but as he dials the number, the recorded message says, please do not dial o11 before the number, it is a local call from here.;-)
Contributed by friends.

ॐ श्री गुरावे नमः !
ॐ नमः शिवाय!