Food and Hell

Some laughter!

Four friends take their lunch regularly together,

the first guy opens his lunch box and he finds Bread and butter, he feels bad that his wife packs bread and butter almost daily.

The second guy opens his lunch box and he finds, Noodles, not again! he shouts!

The third guy opens his lunch box and finds Pizza, not again! he too shouts!

They all look at the fourth guy, he opens it and finds long sandwich,not again! all shout together!

That fateful day they all take a oath that if they find the same food in their lunch boxes, they will jump out of window and go to Hell.

Next day:

First guy: opens his lunch box, without a word he takes off from the window, thud!!

second guy and third guy also open their lunch boxes, they look at each other and jump out of the windows, thud!!

The fourth guy opens his lunch box, takes the sandwich and chews on it, it appears old and frozen, he also jumps out of the window, thud!!!

They all reach Hell!! the demon door man welcomes them and the demon in the reception asks them for the cause for ending their life before the actual expiry date.

All in chorus: we get same lunch day after day, we could not take it any longer.

Demon in the reception: who cooks your lunch anyway!

Three guys: My wife!!! in chorus. Fourth Guy remains calm.

Demon: What about you

Fourth Guy: I cook my own lunch.

:-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Contributed by friends.

A very old and agile looking person throws a party to the whole town, the reason for the party is he turned 100 that evening.

every one from the city drops in and they all ask him the secret of his long life.

The old guy: I did not smoke or drink alcohol, I did not waste my energy with women, I did not lie, I did not steal, I did not deceive anyone, I lived a very strict, simple and vegetative life.

One table in a corner with one chair is decorated with fresh water, lettuce and carrots.
The city folks ask the old man what are we being served, most of them strongly expect that they sure will get the same stuff in the corner.

Old Man leads them to a well decorated dining hall, where to the utter astonishment of the city folks, every living or non living thing is available to be devoured.

People ask him as you have turned 100 now, why not start taking everything now.

Old guy: My target is to live happily for ever. :-)))))))))))))))

contributed by a friend

A person is tired of his life and everything around him.

He finally calls upon the God to find a solution, after several calls, nothing happens.

He resorts to the final trick of ending his life,

GOD appears and stops him from doing so.

Person: I have been calling you since such a long time, why didn't you respond.

GOD: I did. first time I came as a bird, you shot the bird and ate it.
second time I came as a beggar, whom you pushed out of your home.
the third time I came as an new immigrant you got him in to the prison, now I have come to take you, let's go.

Person: Where? to Heaven!!.

God: Nope!, your total accumulated points allow you a trip to Hell.Om Nama.H Shivaya!

Sianala, Montreal, July 2007