Laugh cartoons sent by people
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
Few Cartoons send to me by few contacts by email,
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL, 2010.
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
Sianala, Montreal, 2010, Jan 2
Showing posts with label Health-Laughter the supreme medicine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Health-Laughter the supreme medicine. Show all posts
Jan 2, 2010
Feb 15, 2009
Salary Raise
How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?
One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary !!!
Dear Bo$$ In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing$ mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under $tanding of the need$ of your worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
$incerely Your$,
Marian $hih ----------------------------------------------------
The next day, the employee received a nice reply like this :
Dear Marian
I kNOw what you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet . NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad .
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean .
Yours truly,
Sianala, Montreal, Feb 2009
Sep 24, 2008
Here is a puzzle for you
Imagine you are in Africa . You have been tied hanging on a tree with a rope anchored on the ground, a candle is slowly burning the rope, and the lion is waiting for you to drop and be his lunch.
Your survival hinges on the rope staying intact, there is no one around to help you. What to do now ............
write your answer before your scroll down.... Scroll down for answer...
write your answer before your scroll down.... Scroll down for answer...
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Forwarded to me by M P Singh
KULJEET SINGH
-- Regards,Kuljit SinghBranch Manager,Unicon Investment Solutions.Mob:- 098154-56780email:- kuljeet.xlnc@gmail.com, kuljeetxlnc@hotmail.com.
No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.comVersion: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1664 - Release Date: 10/09/2008 6:00 AM
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
KULJEET SINGH
-- Regards,Kuljit SinghBranch Manager,Unicon Investment Solutions.Mob:- 098154-56780email:- kuljeet.xlnc@gmail.com, kuljeetxlnc@hotmail.com.
No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.comVersion: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1664 - Release Date: 10/09/2008 6:00 AM
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
Nov 20, 2007
Alcohol
Read and Laugh, Nice few points send by a friend,
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.
>
> 1. It's an incentive to show up.
>
> 2. It reduces stress.
>
> 3. It leads to more honest communications.
>
> 4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
>
> 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
>
> 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
>
> 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
>
> 8. It encourages carpooling.
>
> 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
>
> 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
>
> 11. It makes fellow employees look better.
>
> 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
>
> 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
>
> 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
>
> 15. If something does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.
I think I can add few more point to this list.
16 Domestic violence will also go down as a result.
17 Children at home will be less disturbed as the Alcoholic will stay mostly at work or at AA.
18 Less people will drive home after work, they would rather stay at workplace, because the company should have a policy " loose your job if you drive with alcohol but drink as much as you like at workplace". :-)
I am a teetotaler myself, but this appears to be a good idea.:-)))))
Sianala, Montreal, Nov 2007
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.
>
> 1. It's an incentive to show up.
>
> 2. It reduces stress.
>
> 3. It leads to more honest communications.
>
> 4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
>
> 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
>
> 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
>
> 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
>
> 8. It encourages carpooling.
>
> 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
>
> 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
>
> 11. It makes fellow employees look better.
>
> 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
>
> 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
>
> 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
>
> 15. If something does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.
I think I can add few more point to this list.
16 Domestic violence will also go down as a result.
17 Children at home will be less disturbed as the Alcoholic will stay mostly at work or at AA.
18 Less people will drive home after work, they would rather stay at workplace, because the company should have a policy " loose your job if you drive with alcohol but drink as much as you like at workplace". :-)
I am a teetotaler myself, but this appears to be a good idea.:-)))))
Sianala, Montreal, Nov 2007
Jul 11, 2007
Prayers
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
A reckless driver drives a bus with bus load of passengers, on that fateful day, due to heavy rain, the bus driver finds it very difficult to steer the bus through the twists and turns of a mountain strip and his reckless passion is something he can not change, while struggling on a fine turn near the river, he slips his grip on the steering and the bus falls in the river, eventually everyone is liberated.
They all reach a gate with white light, where a saint hands over the ticket to the Heavens to the bus driver and tickets to the hell to the passengers.
A passenger argues that it was they who were praying and not the driver.
Saint: Yes! each one of you were praying for your own life, but the driver was praying for all of you while he was driving through that rain.
Moral: Selfless service is far more rewarding than self service.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A family lives on top of a tree, one day a child slips out of his house and takes a stroll towards the plains, there he finds something very scary and frightening, he decides to return home and after reaching home he narrates the whole story to his parents.
The parents grew curious to have a look at those scary things in the plains away from their forest home, they reach the plains and there they face two lanky creatures with two stands and two arms with a mush on the top and blunt teeth, soft skin and no fur or horns or fangs or nails, but they do have some sort of stick in their hands and a bag.
The parents immediately recognize those scary things, they say," they are human poachers and the stick in their hands is a Gun, they shoot painful darts at anything and everything, then they burn it and eat with dancing and singing".
Boy: do they eat us also?
Parents: No, but we ghosts should be very careful with them and next time you see them try to hide, do not cross their path.
The two shadows pass away without seeing the ghosts.:-)
Contributed by a friend...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in
sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven ?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York,"
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."
Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor ofSaint Mary's for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest,"Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."
"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"
"Results!," shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed." :-))))))))))))
Moral: It's Performance, Not Position that Counts....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contributed by Friends
Sianala, Montreal, July 2007
A reckless driver drives a bus with bus load of passengers, on that fateful day, due to heavy rain, the bus driver finds it very difficult to steer the bus through the twists and turns of a mountain strip and his reckless passion is something he can not change, while struggling on a fine turn near the river, he slips his grip on the steering and the bus falls in the river, eventually everyone is liberated.
They all reach a gate with white light, where a saint hands over the ticket to the Heavens to the bus driver and tickets to the hell to the passengers.
A passenger argues that it was they who were praying and not the driver.
Saint: Yes! each one of you were praying for your own life, but the driver was praying for all of you while he was driving through that rain.
Moral: Selfless service is far more rewarding than self service.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A family lives on top of a tree, one day a child slips out of his house and takes a stroll towards the plains, there he finds something very scary and frightening, he decides to return home and after reaching home he narrates the whole story to his parents.
The parents grew curious to have a look at those scary things in the plains away from their forest home, they reach the plains and there they face two lanky creatures with two stands and two arms with a mush on the top and blunt teeth, soft skin and no fur or horns or fangs or nails, but they do have some sort of stick in their hands and a bag.
The parents immediately recognize those scary things, they say," they are human poachers and the stick in their hands is a Gun, they shoot painful darts at anything and everything, then they burn it and eat with dancing and singing".
Boy: do they eat us also?
Parents: No, but we ghosts should be very careful with them and next time you see them try to hide, do not cross their path.
The two shadows pass away without seeing the ghosts.:-)
Contributed by a friend...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in
sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven ?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York,"
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."
Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor ofSaint Mary's for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest,"Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."
"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"
"Results!," shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed." :-))))))))))))
Moral: It's Performance, Not Position that Counts....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contributed by Friends
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
Sianala, Montreal, July 2007
Jul 5, 2007
Food and Hell
Some laughter!
Four friends take their lunch regularly together,
the first guy opens his lunch box and he finds Bread and butter, he feels bad that his wife packs bread and butter almost daily.
The second guy opens his lunch box and he finds, Noodles, not again! he shouts!
The third guy opens his lunch box and finds Pizza, not again! he too shouts!
They all look at the fourth guy, he opens it and finds long sandwich,not again! all shout together!
That fateful day they all take a oath that if they find the same food in their lunch boxes, they will jump out of window and go to Hell.
Next day:
First guy: opens his lunch box, without a word he takes off from the window, thud!!
second guy and third guy also open their lunch boxes, they look at each other and jump out of the windows, thud!!
The fourth guy opens his lunch box, takes the sandwich and chews on it, it appears old and frozen, he also jumps out of the window, thud!!!
They all reach Hell!! the demon door man welcomes them and the demon in the reception asks them for the cause for ending their life before the actual expiry date.
All in chorus: we get same lunch day after day, we could not take it any longer.
Demon in the reception: who cooks your lunch anyway!
Three guys: My wife!!! in chorus. Fourth Guy remains calm.
Demon: What about you
Fourth Guy: I cook my own lunch.
:-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Contributed by friends.
A very old and agile looking person throws a party to the whole town, the reason for the party is he turned 100 that evening.
every one from the city drops in and they all ask him the secret of his long life.
The old guy: I did not smoke or drink alcohol, I did not waste my energy with women, I did not lie, I did not steal, I did not deceive anyone, I lived a very strict, simple and vegetative life.
One table in a corner with one chair is decorated with fresh water, lettuce and carrots.
The city folks ask the old man what are we being served, most of them strongly expect that they sure will get the same stuff in the corner.
Old Man leads them to a well decorated dining hall, where to the utter astonishment of the city folks, every living or non living thing is available to be devoured.
People ask him as you have turned 100 now, why not start taking everything now.
Old guy: My target is to live happily for ever. :-)))))))))))))))
contributed by a friend
A person is tired of his life and everything around him.
He finally calls upon the God to find a solution, after several calls, nothing happens.
He resorts to the final trick of ending his life,
GOD appears and stops him from doing so.
Person: I have been calling you since such a long time, why didn't you respond.
GOD: I did. first time I came as a bird, you shot the bird and ate it.
second time I came as a beggar, whom you pushed out of your home.
the third time I came as an new immigrant you got him in to the prison, now I have come to take you, let's go.
Person: Where? to Heaven!!.
God: Nope!, your total accumulated points allow you a trip to Hell.Om Nama.H Shivaya!
Sianala, Montreal, July 2007
Jul 3, 2007
A good Story
A good story...
An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would beover. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad
Shortly, the old man received this telegram:
"For Heaven's sake, Dad,don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"
At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local policeOfficers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad... It's thebest I could do for you from here."
Moral:NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.
Have a nice day
Take care of your loved ones always.
Sent to me by a friend
sianala, Montreal, July 2007
An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would beover. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad
Shortly, the old man received this telegram:
"For Heaven's sake, Dad,don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"
At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local policeOfficers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad... It's thebest I could do for you from here."
Moral:NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.
Have a nice day
Take care of your loved ones always.
Sent to me by a friend
sianala, Montreal, July 2007
Jun 20, 2007
God did come!
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
There was a very big Dam and was holding lot of water in a man made lake, after many peaceful years, one day a villager detects a crack on the Dam, for a moment his heart stops, he runs to the village head to inform about this crack.
The village along with all his men inspect the crack on the Dam and decide to call the govt. to get this rectified, the engineers arrive and to their utter disappointment it is found that the crack can not be repaired, so they raise a danger alarm and they request the Govt to evacuate all the villages with in the close proximity of the Dam, every villager leaves very early and then it is time for the Dam to rupture, water starts flowing in a huge stream.
Meanwhile the rescue team detect that a man is still living in his home.
The rescue team ask the man to get out, but the Man is adamant, no my GOD will save me, he will not let me down.
The rescue team leaves the scene keeping the condition of Dam in mind, the water now is flowing in the villages like a river and the man's house is effected.
Now the Rescue team in their last visit call out for the man, who is in his second floor.
The man: No my GOD will save me.
The rescue team leaves again, the water is higher now and the second floor is under water,
The Rescue team in a ferry reach this man's house and call him to get in the ferry.
The Man: No my God......................!
The Rescue team leaves and is replaced by the Army.
The water has submerged almost all the villages and the Man is on the roof top.
The Army in a Helicopter; Hey common we will take you up, catch this harness.
The Man: No my God will come..................
The Army leaves and the Dam breaks submerging everything.
The man is standing in a reception , appears like the abode of GOD.
GOD: There you are, How are you?
Man: I will not speak to you, you let me drown, I called you so many times and you did not come.
GOD: I did come, the people in Rescue team, The Ferry, The Helicopter, all were my men, but you did not come.
Moral: God is Omnipresent and everywhere.
I heard this story in Net GSC Chandanagar, Hyderabad, India, narrated by a indian software professional settled in US in the year 1999-2000.
SIanala, Montreal, July 2007
There was a very big Dam and was holding lot of water in a man made lake, after many peaceful years, one day a villager detects a crack on the Dam, for a moment his heart stops, he runs to the village head to inform about this crack.
The village along with all his men inspect the crack on the Dam and decide to call the govt. to get this rectified, the engineers arrive and to their utter disappointment it is found that the crack can not be repaired, so they raise a danger alarm and they request the Govt to evacuate all the villages with in the close proximity of the Dam, every villager leaves very early and then it is time for the Dam to rupture, water starts flowing in a huge stream.
Meanwhile the rescue team detect that a man is still living in his home.
The rescue team ask the man to get out, but the Man is adamant, no my GOD will save me, he will not let me down.
The rescue team leaves the scene keeping the condition of Dam in mind, the water now is flowing in the villages like a river and the man's house is effected.
Now the Rescue team in their last visit call out for the man, who is in his second floor.
The man: No my GOD will save me.
The rescue team leaves again, the water is higher now and the second floor is under water,
The Rescue team in a ferry reach this man's house and call him to get in the ferry.
The Man: No my God......................!
The Rescue team leaves and is replaced by the Army.
The water has submerged almost all the villages and the Man is on the roof top.
The Army in a Helicopter; Hey common we will take you up, catch this harness.
The Man: No my God will come..................
The Army leaves and the Dam breaks submerging everything.
The man is standing in a reception , appears like the abode of GOD.
GOD: There you are, How are you?
Man: I will not speak to you, you let me drown, I called you so many times and you did not come.
GOD: I did come, the people in Rescue team, The Ferry, The Helicopter, all were my men, but you did not come.
Moral: God is Omnipresent and everywhere.
I heard this story in Net GSC Chandanagar, Hyderabad, India, narrated by a indian software professional settled in US in the year 1999-2000.
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
SIanala, Montreal, July 2007
Jun 3, 2007
Meeting the God
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
A person frustrated starts praying in a very secluded places to appease GOD, after 25 long years of penance, GOD appears in the form of Lord Shiva and asks the ascetic why did you remember me, dear!
The person is used to consult his wife for every small or big decisions, so he requests GOD, please wait for a minute I will be back in a moment, I have to ask my wife what exactly she wants.
GOD: Okey Dokey!
Person returns with a long list: Please take this list.
GOD: OK, Please wait for a minute I will be back in a moment, even I have to ask my wife before I promise anything (and GOD vanishes).
A year passes GOD does not return, meanwhile seeing the plight of this person, ever roaming saint Narada appears and asks what happened.
Person tells the whole story.
Narada: Oh! O, dear! When GOD says 1 minute it is equal to 100 years of Earth time. I am sorry, instead of waiting,better start all over again! good luck and he too vanishes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two neighbours ( N1& N2) ever competing with each other on every small and big things in their lives decide to call upon the GOD.
So the great penance starts, after 25 long years of penance, GOD appears before the first neighbour N1.
GOD: Hello dear! Let me know why you called me!
N1: Well I want many things but I would like you to do me a favour.
GOD: Ok! What is it.
N1: Are you going to answer my neighbours call also.
GOD: O' Yes, sure.
N1: Will it be possible if you find out what he is asking.
GOD: No problemo.
GOD appears before the other neighbour ( N2)
GOD: Hello dear, let me know why you called me!
N2: Thanks for coming, my lord! before I ask I would like to know what my Neighbour is asking, GOD says OK.
GOD returns to N1, like this GOD moves up and down for a couple of times, finally GOD is tired, I am sorry if you do not ask for anything, I am going, I have others calling.
N1: OK, Give me everything double the quantity of what ever N2 will ask.
GOD: Tathastu! ( Meaning, so be it).
God goes to N2 for the last time.
GOD: OK ask what do you want.
N2 is a persistent fellow, please let me know what did the N1 ask.
GOD: Oh my GOD! Ok, he wants everything two times of what ever you are going to ask.
N2: Ok! then cut my one hand, one leg, one ear and one eye.
GOD: Tathastu! and he leaves with a heavy heart, complaining, Why did I make Humans.
______________________________________________________________
A person in Europe is looking for GOD, he asks a saint, the saint points at a Telephone booth.
The person pick up the phone and calls a number written on the wall" God's PRIVATE NUMBER, please dial 011 before the no and it is a long distance call.
The person disconnects and travels to North America, even there he finds a Telephone booth with same no and same instructions, again it is a long distance call.
The person travels to China, Japan, Australia, Arctic, Antarctica, Middle east every where he finds the same telephone booth with same instructions and it is always a long distance call.
Finally he decides to travel to India and looks around for that telephone booth and he finds it with the same no, but as he dials the number, the recorded message says, please do not dial o11 before the number, it is a local call from here.;-)
Contributed by friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A person frustrated starts praying in a very secluded places to appease GOD, after 25 long years of penance, GOD appears in the form of Lord Shiva and asks the ascetic why did you remember me, dear!
The person is used to consult his wife for every small or big decisions, so he requests GOD, please wait for a minute I will be back in a moment, I have to ask my wife what exactly she wants.
GOD: Okey Dokey!
Person returns with a long list: Please take this list.
GOD: OK, Please wait for a minute I will be back in a moment, even I have to ask my wife before I promise anything (and GOD vanishes).
A year passes GOD does not return, meanwhile seeing the plight of this person, ever roaming saint Narada appears and asks what happened.
Person tells the whole story.
Narada: Oh! O, dear! When GOD says 1 minute it is equal to 100 years of Earth time. I am sorry, instead of waiting,better start all over again! good luck and he too vanishes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two neighbours ( N1& N2) ever competing with each other on every small and big things in their lives decide to call upon the GOD.
So the great penance starts, after 25 long years of penance, GOD appears before the first neighbour N1.
GOD: Hello dear! Let me know why you called me!
N1: Well I want many things but I would like you to do me a favour.
GOD: Ok! What is it.
N1: Are you going to answer my neighbours call also.
GOD: O' Yes, sure.
N1: Will it be possible if you find out what he is asking.
GOD: No problemo.
GOD appears before the other neighbour ( N2)
GOD: Hello dear, let me know why you called me!
N2: Thanks for coming, my lord! before I ask I would like to know what my Neighbour is asking, GOD says OK.
GOD returns to N1, like this GOD moves up and down for a couple of times, finally GOD is tired, I am sorry if you do not ask for anything, I am going, I have others calling.
N1: OK, Give me everything double the quantity of what ever N2 will ask.
GOD: Tathastu! ( Meaning, so be it).
God goes to N2 for the last time.
GOD: OK ask what do you want.
N2 is a persistent fellow, please let me know what did the N1 ask.
GOD: Oh my GOD! Ok, he wants everything two times of what ever you are going to ask.
N2: Ok! then cut my one hand, one leg, one ear and one eye.
GOD: Tathastu! and he leaves with a heavy heart, complaining, Why did I make Humans.
______________________________________________________________
A person in Europe is looking for GOD, he asks a saint, the saint points at a Telephone booth.
The person pick up the phone and calls a number written on the wall" God's PRIVATE NUMBER, please dial 011 before the no and it is a long distance call.
The person disconnects and travels to North America, even there he finds a Telephone booth with same no and same instructions, again it is a long distance call.
The person travels to China, Japan, Australia, Arctic, Antarctica, Middle east every where he finds the same telephone booth with same instructions and it is always a long distance call.
Finally he decides to travel to India and looks around for that telephone booth and he finds it with the same no, but as he dials the number, the recorded message says, please do not dial o11 before the number, it is a local call from here.;-)
Contributed by friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ॐ नमः शिवाय!
May 21, 2007
The Heart Surgeon & The Mechanic
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage,” Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one.
So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic....
..He said:
"Try to do it when the engine is running ".
:-)))))))))))))
Contributed by a friend.
The mechanic shouted across the garage,” Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one.
So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic....
..He said:
"Try to do it when the engine is running ".
:-)))))))))))))
Contributed by a friend.
Where is GOD?
WHERE IS GOD :
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They always get into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, made the the younger boy sit down and asked him sternly,"Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,"Where is God?!"The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in a BIG trouble this time."
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"GOD is missing", and they think we did it!
:-))))))))
Contributed by a friend!
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They always get into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, made the the younger boy sit down and asked him sternly,"Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,"Where is God?!"The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in a BIG trouble this time."
scroll down...................................
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"GOD is missing", and they think we did it!
:-))))))))
Contributed by a friend!
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